This is my summer
I ride to work with this guy sometimes.
I hang out with this guy
and this guy
and this guy
and this guy
and this guy
who also has this guy
and this guy
and sometimes this guy
and a guy who wears this shirt
I met this crazy woman in a park . . . after she collapsed way across the parking lot and we tried to help her.
She drove over to where we were sitting 10 or 15 minutes later and demanded we each stand up and hug her.
She said she was on a picnic date and was only wearing a bikini and a sarong
She left the car door open and it was still beeping when she sat down and started asking us weird questions.
She said she was on a picnic and that she made fried chicken and mac & cheese and such, but we later found a bag of taco bell with a taco salad in it and a bunch of paper plates. . . And the blanket she laid out.
She swore she wasn't on drugs and wore a giant "wedding ring" that she bought for herself at a walmart.
Reynoldsburg, OH
z
i went to this house
Newark, OH
yes, this one
and this one, where a woman told me, there are actually "more like 60 cats" and she has a series of lazers all across her lawn and bear traps set outside her windows, so she doesn't need an alarm system. Plus, she once beat up neighborhood kids with a metal rod, so they know not to mess with her. She drove a pink truck that I liked, but she hated.
Mansfield
And I went to this house, where they all only wore orange shirts. . . for middle school spirit. . .
Mansfield
I went to this town.
A woman in a mcdonalds told us we "need to come back for the popcorn festival."
she was confused that we lived "in the city" 40 miles away and that "the elephant ears are worth it"
Marion
Columbus has Bruce Lee's Chinese Food, so you know it's a good city
even though this bar doesn't allow roller shoes. . .
Dayton
A lot of people have these birds around their houses.
These people had a Brinks system & a detached garage and weren't home.
Columbus
And one person had this by their gate.
I was told by a neighbor that they sold drugs.
Marion
And three people had marshmallows by their drive ways.
They all lived on different streets.
Columbus
I saw this birthday cake.
And these ice cream sandwiches.
A neighbor told me that they don't need a security system because the police don't respond in his neighborhood. He said those lines on the sidewalk are from a guy who rides his snow-plow wherever he goes "and the police won't do nothin about it." He wasn't too worried because he told me "people know not to mess with me."
That's my favorite.
And I found these in a store and didn't buy one. . . and i'm still kicking myself
I didn't buy these either, and i still kind of want them. . .
I did buy one of these though.
I went to an arcade bar and this guy was there.
And I went to Toronto.
But I think I'm ready to go to Atlanta and Louisville and New York and Portland and Vancouver and Virginia Beach. . .
Everyone in my office is slowly leaving.
There are like, 8 of us now. . .
I'm totally not doing pre-season next year.
I've been here too long.
But I got stories. . .
