I love living in a city where I can always get the onion for free.

There was a guy in our neighborhood when I was little who used to unicycle with his kids on his shoulders.

My Dad bought one too.

I could go up and down my driveway & then my mom gave it away because she didn't realize anyone was using it. . .

I went to a taping of The Montel Williams Show" yesterday.
I love that he lets the audience ask questions.


"yes min-tel woolliums- i would jis like to axe you how do i get a ghost-writer to do a play wright?"

Road Trip 2K7 - "The Hotessey"
has officially begun.

Day 2-
Kt & I went white water rafting with our guide-friend Dan on the Ocoee river in TN.

horrah.

(that's right, i posted. . . it's a good thing you checked again.)

A girl in the line in front of me at the bank said this to someone on her cell phone:
(wow, that's a lot of prepositional phrases for one sentence)


"Is it bad to stop breathing?"

. . .

"but why is it bad though?"

Is It Okay To Feed A Pet Rabbit Cabbage?

I just got fired for sexually harassing a Mexican in the kitchen.

Yesterday I went to the Dentist

and overheard:

"Can you. . . do you have sinus problems?
Are you able to breath out of your nose?"


Ew. Fogging up his tiny mirror. . .
Mouth-breathing. . .
That's why I will never be a Dentist.

Did I Do That?



No.
Jaleel White did not commit suicide.

Thanks (for nothing) to all of you who sent me (false) text messages, e-mails, voice mails, etc.

HAPPY ARMED FORCES DAY!

Here are a few things I've overheard recently:

"Here's the thing about me and partyin'. . . I could easily, easily be in Municipal Waste.

Read this one with your best Southern accent-
"The thing is, once you catch a 22" trout and mount it on your wall, there really ain't no goin' back."

Er body seen a Leprechaun
say "YEAH!"

. . . and there's more

On a MUCH smaller scale, like my amazingly lucky, lovely and spectacular sister, I also get to see free shows. . .

See Figures A and C Below depicting a Free G-Love concert that was fantastic by the way:

Figure A




Figure B




Figure C





Compare Figures A, B, and C.

Please keep in mind this conversation was all shouted over very loud music to a girl, (and later, with slight variations, to a guy,) I didn't know.

Me: *Excessive, explosive laughter*
(Yelling over the music)
The bassist guy looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman!

Concert Girl: *Continued "jamming" to the music*
(Big THC Smile)
Who looks like what?!

Me: *continued laughter*
The bassist- he looks like Philip Seymore. . . Have you seen Happiness?

Concert Girl: Yeah, this show is happen'en

Me: *laughter dying down slightly*
N-no. . . Happiness! The movie; It's hilarious!
Punch Drunk Love?
Capote?
Philip Seymour Hoffman!
Love Liza?!

Concert Girl: I love G-Love!

Me: *laughter gone*
Nonono. . . Liza. . . .

Concert Girl: Awesome! I'm Becca! Wanna hit this?

Me: . . . Ok





So Becca, or that other guy, if you are reading, this is what I was talking about

I
love
you
so
much

I miss Mason

Have A WONDERful Day.

I'm sick of the stuff I know how to make. Send me recipes.

My Father Abraham in Smurfland record is MISSING!


"Beer, beer, smurfing beer, it tastes like beer but it isn't beer!"

Megaman, did I leave it at your house?

If you yet to read the DC Comics materpieces JUSTICE (#1-3 of 12),

you should.
You won't regret it.

Drop what you're doing and watch this ad
Featuring the awesome Jose Gonzalez.
Sony BRAVIA - The Advert


This is so rad.

This post stolen from: Young Master Sunshine Photogenic 1982

Just one thing:

Learn how to work the effing lights you put on your house, idiots.

I'm sick of all this random blinking and parts of bushes and flower-beds flashing random idiot colors at random idiot times.

You'd think after spending seventy bucks at wal-mart, and climbing all over your roof,
you'd want it to look good, even if only a little.

It's this kind of thing that makes me want to punch you in the throat.




Also- Happy Holidays, May the Magic of the Season give you diarrhea.

Bunny McIntosh's
Spachelorette Bash
TONIGHT!


more to come.

You are Q. The annoying entity. You should treat
the crew of the Enterprise better- they saved
your life.


Which Star Trek: TNG character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

. . . this quiz sucked.

We have a radio in the bathroom that is usually on. . .

This morning some weird Rennesance Ball-ish music was on.
It made me feel like wearing a gown
and carrying a Masquarade Mask
and presenting myself to the queen

but I was battling a hang-over, ralphing into the toilet instead.
I would have laughed if my diaphram wasn't convulsing

People with big teeth scare me


. . . you all know who you are